They say once we write it down, it is a reality. That gives us a moment to decide - Are we going to record this or not?
The other day, I had a really emotional discussion in the morning with my husband about whether we were going to continue with our last IVF for infertility and continue to pursue adoption at the same time. My first thought in a moment of boredom at work - when I was feeling overwhelmed with all the classes I was prepping, and when my mind kept drifting back to the conversation with Ajay - was that I WANTED PRETZEL CRISPS. I tried to head off a binge by pushing it off, like Ilana would tell me to. I said to myself, "If I really still want them at lunch, I will have them; then at least it will be part of a meal." I also went on IG stories and told anyone who was following me about it. That worked. I ate them with lunch -one serving - and enjoyed the hell out of them. But then I went back and had three more servings at the end of the work day. Why? I was on the phone with my husband again. When I got home, I actually tracked the pretzels - ALL 4 servings of them. I was pretty mad at myself. BUT then I talked to my husband about The Pretzel Incident. He asked me why I did that. It actually led to me being more honest with him about my TRUE FEELINGS about what's going on with our personal issues. I was eating my frustration and my words - because sometimes when we talk, I don't feel like he actually hears what I'm saying correctly. That's actually pretty important to realize! So, I'd say that's a win, even though it felt a little crappy at first. It’s going to be good for our communication - which will need to be strong as we go forward with the donor egg fertilzation and adoption!
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